Ran(t)

58 Great Marlborough St, Soho | www.ranrestaurant.com | ingested Saturday Oct 24th ‘09

Every once in a while, a restaurant pisses me off enough to warrant a bit of a Ran(ting). I’ll tell you what I can’t stand. I absolutely despise…

… places that claim to take bookings, but upon turning up on time, you are simply ushered to join a queue of other drop-in customers (One wonders why on earth they waste their breath entertaining reservations)

… a “it will be five minute wait sir” which turns into FORTYfive minutes

… sneaky suggestions of seemingly on-the-house condiments with no warning of the damage involved

On a busy Saturday night, Ran somehow managed to score on all of the above.

Ran’s Interior… (if you’re wondering what the UFOs are, its their rather unique looking bbq extractor fans)

Don’t get me wrong though… I absolutely love Korean food. I love the sharp flavours, the tender, flavoursome bbq meats, the striking red colours of kimchi and spicy pork bulgogi. Putting aside the long wait, neglected booking, and unwarned surcharges, the food at Ran is average at best. Most of the staple Korean classics are decent bar a few air-balls that seem to miss the point completely.

Mixed Kimchi Selection

In response to the rhetorical question if we wanted some kimchi to start, a seemingly generous selection of pickled cucumber, radish and cabbage was served up. Much too big for the 2 of us, but we happily dug in after the long wait for the table. Maybe this was their attempt to console us we initially thought. Little did we know until we got the check that customers get charged £7.50 for their inability to apportion kimchi for 2 people…

Kimchi Chun

The sour experience continued with our starter of Kimchi Chun – a Korean pancake with a twist. This kimchified version was much too sour and the usually crisp texture which distinguishes the famed Korean pancake was instead water-logged by the wetness of the kimchi. I’d suggest sticking to the classic Pa-Jeon pancake which is loaded with seafood, vegetables and scallions only (had it here on another occasion and it was a much better, balanced dish).

Yuk Whey

Chap Chae

Thankfully, our other starters were pretty decent and up to standard. My favourite Korean dish of Yuk Whey (beef tartare with nashi pear and raw egg) was on the money. The raw beef was as it should be – fresh, ice-cold and full of meaty flavour. The pear was delicate and not overly dominating the way it is in some other places. Please put aside any fears of e.coli or madcow…when binded together with the egg-yolk, this cold dish served up raw is an absolute treat. Our other staple starter of Chap Chae (glass noodles with beef), was also faultless – balanced and well seasoned, with the right amount of spring in the glass noodles.

Bip-bim-bap!

For our mains. we shared Bip-bim-bap (stone pot cooked rice) and spicy pork bulgogi. You gotta love the name “bip-bim-bap” – its one of those few onomatopoeic food words that sounds like the dish itself as the rice grains, mince meat, egg and vege are frying away in the stone pot. Ran’s version was very tasty indeed but my only complaint was that stone pot didn’t seem hot enough – an absolute must to amalgamate the flavours and give the dish its distinctive crispy texture. I’ve heard louder bip-bim-bap beats from other stone pots round the Tottenham Court Road area…

Spicy Pork Bulgogi

There was nothing wrong with the Bulgogi itself. The pork was tender and full of flavour, probably testament to a long marinade and a belly cut with a good fat content. It was the condiments to go with the BBQ that I had a problem with. While most places usually serve these on the house, they had the nerve to charge £2.50 for 6 pretty ordinary lettuce leaves and a further £1.75 for spring onion in an “aroma” (they forgot to serve the latter altogether). Robbery I tell you.

The Damage…

Total damage for the night = £61 quid. In fairness to Ran, we ordered a fair bit for 2, but you could get the same easily, if not better for under £50 at the likes of Woo Jung or Arang. I know many people who put Ran at the top of their list for good Korean, but I don’t think I’ll be making a Saturday night booking anytime soon at my own choosing.

G.

Boundary.

2-4 Boundary Street, Shoreditch | theboundary.co.uk | ingested Oct 23^rd ‘09

Terence Conran’s latest project in the heart of Shoreditch is a restaurant-boutique hotel-café-and-rooftop terrace, all packaged within a polished Victorian Warehouse. The more formal restaurant which serves classic French cuisine is situated deep inside the vaulted, bare-brick-basement of the complex. Maroon-coloured velvet seats and starry-overhead-lighting give the spacious and seductive dining room Conran’s trademark style and contemporary elegance.

Inside the Boundary Project…

The salami, rillette, terrine and pates we started with were superb and the highlight of the evening – meaty, gamey and savoury yet not overly rich. Portions were generous, served fresh off the trolley with cornichons, pickled onions and good bread. All of this was so good, it came close to completely overshadowing a very pleasing Escargots a la Bourguignon – utterly herby and garlic buttery, served piping hot in a cast-iron pot. Others in neighbouring tables looked just as happy with large platters of fruits de mer, simply cooked and served with classic sauces like beurre blanc and aioli.

Charcuterie, Rilletes, Terrines and Pates served straight off the trolley

Escargot a la Bourguignon

The simple, beautiful cooking continued through to the mains. We stayed true to the classics on the menu and went for the Bouillabaisse and Roast of the day. The Bouillabaisse was wonderfully comforting and tasty, served as it would be in Marseille – the poached shellfish, potato and vegetables on one platter while the saffron flavoured broth was served separately in a silver stockpot. Rounds of toasted bread and rich Rouille sauce accompanied. The Roast Lamb though tender and faultless was dare I say a little too simple and had difficulty differentiating itself from stereotypical gastro-pub fare. We finished with a classic lemon tart – pleasant, but a tad not warm enough.

Mmm… Boullabaisse

Roast Shoulder of Lamb

At £40 a head for dinner and drinks, it is admittedly a bit pricey, but the quality French fare and decadent, retro-chic ambience is certainly worth a visit if you’re looking for somewhere to impress.

G.

PignaSecca Market.

Montesanto, Naples | 40°51′N, 14°17′E | November 2009

Naples is a love it or hate it city. Don’t expect to find the usual archetypal piazzas, flower-lined verandas or quaint, world heritage sights. It’s narrow, sloping streets are down and dirr-ty, full of filth and graffiti. Arriving in the evening, it was as if our taxi driver was racing through the noir-style set of Frank Miller’s Sin City ala Italia. Shouts of Italian profanities, wailing police sirens, and the constant racket of impatient car honks piercing the cool, night air… a stark contrast to the peace and serenity of nearby Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast.

Despite Naples’ apparent lawlessness, its this bustling, deep brooding human energy which gives this city its charm and character. And there’s no better place to experience this than walking through one of Naples’ numerous street-markets. Montesanto’s Pignasecca Market is a prime example – there’s nothing superficial or touristey about this working class market at all. Its all very very real… Aged Italian Mamas with their walking canes out in full force, barely able to stand upright but with enough life in them to heckle and jostle with vendors for the best deal on the just picked fruit and veg… Fishmongers breaking out into song, selling stiff fresh fish and sea-snails so alive, many are still trying to crawl overboard for their lives. Here are some of the highlights of PignaSecca’s best from our Friday morning stroll.

Don’t mess with an Italian Mama on the lookout for her fruit and veg

Dried Chillies (peperoncinos) and Corgette Flowers

Fishmongers turn into Pavarotti @ Pescheria Azzurra

Azzurra’s stiff-fresh fish

“I’m a sea-snail, get me out of here”

Lamb with all the trimmings (left) and Roast Porchetta with garlic and herbs (right)

A constant shower of fresh water bathes the tripe, keeping them moist

Old School De Ceco with Mr. Pasta himself

The Big Cheese

Drop by Scaturchio for Naples’ best Sfogliatelli (Filo pastry stuffed with Ricotta)

Baba au Rum (Cupcakes bathed in Rum)

With such extra-ordinary produce, its hard not to feel in the mood for one serious cook-out. These Neapolitan Italian Mamas – they don’t know how lucky they are… Makes shopping at Waitrose seem oh-so-mundane.

G.

(Photography courtesy of Jo)

Snog.

9 Brewer Street, Soho W1F | www.ifancyasnog.com | ingested the night of Oct 24th ‘09

This was the first time Jo and myself had a snog. I must confess though, it was actually my second time… The first was actually a spontaneous post dim-sum affair with Jin, YiRong and Victor over the summer.

Green Tea Snog Special with Red Bean, Mochi and Pomegranate (£4.75)

Puns aside, I can easily see how a Snog could become one’s everyday guilty pleasure. At just 89 calories per 100g of frozen yoghurt, it fancies itself as a treat that’s actually healthy. Choose between natural, green tea or chocolate for the frozen yoghurt base. But don’t be fooled though… what they conveniently forget to calorify are their many naughty toppings. Yes there are some healthy fruit and nut options, but with brownies, cookies, red bean and mochi amongst others to choose from (as well as a new launched range of hot toppings such as apple crumble), forgive me father for I will most definitely be sinning here.

Have a Snog @ Soho

The thing I love most about this place is that it’s guaranteed to make you relive your childhood all over again. The hot pink deco and technicolour lighting is as fun as the witty catchphrases and toy-instruction-manual-like menu board. It’s a cookie jar raid plus first date all in one and completely reminiscent of the TCBY (“The Country’s Best Yogurt”) frozen yoghurt I used to have as a kid outside Toys’R’Us in City Square.

Snog in Technicolour

The all-day queues are a testament to the wonders which savvy branding and a catchy tag-line can do for a product, albeit simple. Hakuna Matata.

G.

Doub(Le)banese.

Chapter 1: Pilpel.

36, Brushfield Street, Spitalfields | www.pilpel.co.uk | ingested Sunday Oct 18th ‘09

It was 2pm already and we were still Sunday brunch-less. Although the original plan for that afternoon was to head west to Comptoir Libanais to quell a craving for good Lebanese and then hit the shops on Oxford Street, the thought of a 20 minute ride on the Central line from Liverpool Street to Bond Street on an empty stomach proved too much to bear. Pilpel is the ultimate pit-stop if you ever find yourself in our shoes or want a quick bite in the Spitalfields area.

Pilpel Falafel Bar @ Brushfield Street

They do one thing here, but they do it well. The falafels are absolute bliss… the exterior crisp and crunchy, the interior moist yet wholesome, testament to the staff here who deep-fry each batch freshly before loading the goodies into white or wholemeal pitta (toasty warm of course). Fill up your pitta with anything you fancy… tabbouleh, chickpeas, tomato salad, carrot, pickles, chilli or homous to order. Uber-value at £3.99 a roll, and for 40p extra, you can load-up some fried aubergine, free-range egg, or feta to your heart’s desire. Yummy.

Fully Loaded Falafel Roll

Chapter 2: Comptoir Libanais.

65, Wigmore Street, Marylebone | www.lecomptoir.co.uk | Sunday 18^th Oct ’09

20 minutes on the Central line of wishing I had ordered a 2^nd Pilpel later, we made it to Comptoir Libanais, a 3 minute duck off the chaos of Oxford Street. The eclectic, chic deco of Comptoir looks much more Leon than Beirut Express, differentiating this vibrant café chain from its dated Edgeware Road peers. It was buzzing despite the 3pm post-lunch hour… the high counter and barstool area was near-full with happy clientele, sandwiched between the food aisle and walls brimming with Lebanese store-cupboard essentials.

Tea-time Buzz

We were seated on diner-style yellow benches and bright red metal stools towards the back, amidst bold, technicolour pop art. Much cosier and more comfortable relative to the sterile shopping mall food-court feel of its pilot Westfield outfit in Shepherd’s Bush.

Eclectic cafe area

The fresh, bold flavours we enjoyed earlier on in the year at Westfield set a high bar, and this newer Marylebone branch certainly did not disappoint on this occasion. A lamb tagine sharer which came with a small mezze platter was great value at £9.50. The fresh lemoni-ness of the tabbouleh, sharp piquancy of the pickles and creamy richness of the hommous continued where Pilpel left off – simple, but fresh, great tasting Lebanese. The lamb tagine with cous-cous was faultless – just the right balance of savoury from the melt-in-your-mouth lamb and sweetness from the cooked down apricots and prunes. Perfectly rounded off by the sweet croissant-like date pastry and pot of fresh mint-tea we had to accompany the tagine and mezzes.

Lamb Tagine Platter to share…

There is much much more on offer here which warrant several visits back for brunch, lunch, tea or even supper. A wide selection of deep-fried sambousseks, falafels, freshly made wraps, pastries, baklavas, cakes and macaroons line the clear-glass food-aisle, all waiting to be pointed at. Other substanstial main dishes in addition to the staple Lamb and chicken Tagines include Aubergine Moussakka and Stewed lamb Koftes with Chickpeas. They don’t have an alcohol license at this particular branch, but the immense spectrum of juices, smoothies, teas, coffees and house specialities (try the Pomegranate and Rosewater cooler) certainly make you forget the need for booze to have a great meal. Even if you turned up absolutely famished without a Pilpel ingested, you would struggle to exceed a tenner a head here in terms of damage.

Comptoir Libanais @ Wigmore Street, Marylebone

With 4 branches in the WestEnd already, I’m sure Comptoir Libanais’ mix of great value and chic appeal will continue to explode across the capital. When o when will the proprietors realise Spitalfields and the EastEnd is where its at? (in the meantime at least, I’ll still have the consolation of dropping by Pilpel on my way westwards!)

G.